Just Call Me Clark Griswold.

The gauntlet was thrown.

The community where I live sponsored a porch decorating contest.  Winner gets money off their January rent.

That speaks to me.  I love paying less - it's like a great sale on something I was buying anyways.

So I cornered my friend Tricia at work and asked her husband to put together a box of outdoor lighting necessities.  The following day I had 2 large boxes of lights, a staple gun, and a warning.

"Brian is worried."  That's what Tricia opened with.  Oh crap.

"I promise to be SO CAREFUL with your things.  Tell him I will be really, really cautious."  But guess what - that wasn't the concern.

"Brian is worried you are going to break yourself.  He sent a staple gun, and protective eyewear.  He's afraid you'll poke your eye out."

Valid concern, TI and BI.  Valid concern.

I actually wasn't concerned about it until I actually went out to decorate.  It was a cold and blowy Sunday, with lots of snow all over.  It had been a pretty good dusting the day before and I underestimated the height of my step stool.  That's right - I don't own a ladder (I live in a 770 sq. ft. apartment - you tell me where a ladder goes.). 

I also realized that I had operated a staple gun before, but never in icy conditions, outside, with electrical wires.  It sounded like a recipe for disaster for sure.  But I am plucky, and continued on with the determination that I was going to win at least ONE of the prizes.

It took about 1/4 of a strand before I realized that the bushes were really going to be in my way, and I moved to the inside of the porch.  This was the best decision I made all morning.  I was (slightly) sheltered from the weather and I was a little bit more flexible about my positioning of the step stool.  After I got one strand up, I decided that it wasn't enough, and I went with a second.

And then a third.

And then a little wrap around the middle pole.

I became Clark Griswold in a matter of minutes.  I couldn't get enough lights!  More lights!  Brighter!  Blinkier! Happier!

Okay - not quite.  But I did think they seemed sort of dim, so I continued the strand additions. 

*Note to future self: lights are not bright at 11am.  Lights are bright at 9pm.

I made a smart decision to stop - my hands were numb and I was out of outlets.  I had already reloaded the staple gun once (thank you iPhone and Google).  My toes were frozen.  So I waited patiently until evening to see my work in all of it's glory. 

And then I realized that a 747 may possibly land in my parking lot.

It's bright.  And it needs some garland or bows or SOMETHING.  And so maybe the right side is a little goofy (project for Saturday perhaps).  But you know what?  It's beautiful!  I did it all by myself.  I braved the weather and the step stool and the staple gun and I decorated outside my house.

I still have all of my fingers and eyes.  And I didn't blow a single fuse!  I don't even care about the prize - I am so darn proud. 

Okay, that's a lie.  I still want to win.