My Own Pursuit of Happyness*

*I need to preface this post with the fact that I do realize that is is spelled "happiness," not "happyness."  The perfectionist in me is going nuts.

I think that most people know that I have been pseudo-unhappy lately.  I say "pseudo" because it has just been like a cold I cannot shake.  It's not there all the time, but sometimes I am just BLAH.  It's work, it's training, it's exhaustion, it's everything.  And while I consider myself a relatively happy person, it has just seemed harder lately.

I have a tendency to not be committed to myself, but instead by committed to everything else that is in my life.  I used to think that I was selfless.  In my worst days, I felt like I was trying to be a martyr.  But really, what I have come to discover is that I was just avoiding discovering what I really wanted.  So many of these types of realizations go back to the "Breaking Through" class that I took with Nicole....so we'll expand on these later.

For now - back to my Pursuit of Happyness.  I didn't necessarily know what truly made me happy anymore.  And although that concerned me, I didn't want to spend any amount of time thinking about it.  Luckily for me, Nicole did.  Going through her own journey has made her a wonderful person to chat things out with, and she has tons of great ideas for me.  So, much in the spirit of "The Year of Exploration," I handed over my happiness and asked her to put together some type of plan to get me through.  Her job: give me things to do that will create happiness, and allow me to discover what I like.  My job: do them.  NO EXCUSES.

So, we met 2 weeks ago and she handed me a bag.  Inside the bag was a day planner, 2 gift cards, and a list of instructions for my own personal "Pursuit of Happyness.".  I'll summarize here:

• Create a Happy Book (read about Nicole's here)
• Write in the day planner each night before bed - only write the things that made you happy
• No negative or neutral comments
• No skipping days!
• Review each week to remind yourself of what the week brought
• Pursue Life Outside of the Office
• TRAIN - even though I sometimes think it's a chore, I committed to Team in Training, and I do truly feel good after I do it
• Host 1 dinner party a month - invite different types of friends
• Go to the bookstore 1 night a week - buy a foofy drink, grab a book, and read for 2 hours
• This is where 1 one of those gift cards came in (no buying books - just drinks!)
• Make Work Happy
• Buy 1 iTunes song a day
• Hence another gift card...
• Only songs that make you happy
• Create a playlist out of these songs, and make it your "drive to work" mix
• Work semi-normal hours (no more killing 16 hours at the office!)

There were a few other random items, but this is the basics of it.  I live for lists, so this appeals to me down to the very core.  I also am totally ready to allow someone to run my life, tell me what to do.  I'm tired of doing it!

So, how am I doing?  Pretty well, actually.  I am dedicated to the "Happy Book."  Without a doubt, it makes me smile every night.  The other stuff is coming along.  The one that has been hard for me is the work hours - it's right before our large user conference.....Can I use that as an excuse?? 

But I am dedicated to the project because I really want to find out what makes me happy.  I really, really want to be able to make decisions....this is just the first step in that!